Atlas

Stress. One day I would like to see what it is that stress does to us physically, psycologically and spiritually. I have decided that I have come under so much stres in the last week or so and have been unable to rest that I have hit that point of inertia. Time to rethink my next semester.
So I am going to drop piano, and one audit. My focus will be scocial justice, dance and relationships. Somehow I do not think that I am supposed to be so concerned with people that I can not learn to interact and love them. It is like being involved with life forbids you to engage in it. There is something about being responsible which is way too heavy to do, but easy to understand how to do it. Something about Atlas. trying to be God. I keep doing this.
The thing is that is that I thought I knew this. Maybe I assume too much. Maybe truth is eternal. If it is this means that there is never a finite point of arriving. I wonder if we could talk about learning truth as arriving in space. We might never reach the end, though we can understand that an end might exist. We would never think of ourselves as arriving to Space. We are in space and there are places, finite points, that we can travel to. But there is no utimate arrival..

hmm. This needs more thought

Grand Canyon Adventure

Rowen rented a Mustang. that was fun


There were many stars. It was amazing. But Diana got sick, so there were no midnighght walks. (well.. there might have been but I was not aware of them.


I learned that one should not slip at a high velosity because one might flip over the barrier and over the trees and then fall down into the abyss.


Saw an airplane museum. Thought of a dutch pilot.

In all it was a very eventful trip, but there is no energy to perfectly write about.

bla bla

Christmas party this eveing. Right now I am socializing in the living room. Lots of thoughts, lots of projects. But not so much space. I think I will lock myself in the little trailer..

yes trailer. This is brilliant. I now have my own little cabin on the street to myself, I am so happy. I can now write my papers in peace. As well as my emails. This is good.

So no profound thoughts for now, but a foto and at least a post.




oh and I went to the mall with my sister and Rowen, her boy toy.

Back

I am here. Not "home" in the sense of finality, but I am back at that place which is familiar to me. There are the same smells, expressions, voices, cats, and faces which have accompanied me through the world. Perhaps this is the first time in a long time that I feel good to be here. There is usually that tension of wanting to break free of these roots which I considered myself to no longer fit into, but now I feel that I am my own enough to be here and not be threatened.
It has been a while since I last wrote here. "No time". Time. I was reading Heschel's book on the Sabbath, which is about time. Then I began to think about this summer. And I am thinking that I should go to the mountains for a month or two. I need a period of time with nothing planed that I can sit in and just be. Am I romanticizing? Does this not exist? Or would some argue that it is a waste of time to do such a thing? Our busy culture tells us that the answer to life's meaning is found in amassing something: knowledge, money, people, clothes etc. hm. I am fed up with it. I no longer want to participate in this. Perhaps I just need a break. So I think I would like to take a break.

Today, the first morning back, is being planed even as I write. It feels good to blog again. It feels so god to not have deadlines. I am content at the moment and enjoying it very much.