Two centimeters of thoughts

It is funny how we can name a thing and “know” what it is, but miss it entirely. In the process of naming something it is essential to reduce its complexity to a stereotype, and in that reduction we neglect the individual characteristics of it. I have just spent an hour trying not to reduce a 2cm pinecone into every other pinecone I have seen by observing it and transferring that onto a piece of paper. “Sketching” in other words.
One of my goals is to learn to paint gardens (and cats, of course). I found an easel at MCC for 3$ so I bought it, and promptly told Dennis that I had done so, and wished at some point this summer to paint his garden. He seemed relatively excited about the idea, so I have enough motivation to begin the process of learning how to paint gardens. (Yes, I am fueled by pleasing people—It has gotten me into trouble upon occasion, but there can be legitimate good from this motivation…)

How ever does one go about learning to paint a landscape? Well, much thought has been given to this—usually as I drive from Otterburne to Steinbach looking at the landscapes and wondering how I might portray them. I have now come to see that first I must learn to portray distance, shape, and the dimensions of shadows and light, not to mention all the complexities colour adds to the whole thing. So learning to paint starts with learning to sketch, and this sketching begins with learning to see.

My mother knew what she was doing after all when she had us sit down and draw still life. I thought it was the most dull exercise at the time. Drawing bread and oranges had far less appeal than unicorns, fairies and raccoons back then. I now return to the basic lessons I abandoned so long ago—back when I knew far more than I know now…

It is a little humiliating when a 2cm pinecone requires all the skill, focus and patience you can muster simply to give it a good definition. I realize that drawing is not actually dissimilar to writing a paper. I think that I am in the stage of learning how to define; I am learning to define in my mind the nuances and differences of this particular pinecone, and I think that is the first essential thing to drawing. Anyone can draw a pinecone, just like anyone can write a paper—the challenge is to articulate the particular nuances of the argument and source your work well. This pinecone was a little two page paper—my first. Someday I hope to write a 20 pager. For now, I will stick to little pinecones, leaves and maybe venture a flower…

It runs in the family

Today was one of those days where sleep is interrupted with periods of consciousness. Other than a brief lunch with my friends, I have spent the day nestled in my bed usually with the Goddess (ask me about that sometime) rather pleased at my choice. This is not because I was particularly lazy today, but more because I feel the creeping feelings of sickness threatening my health. I feel in these cases sleeping the day away is productive.
At one point I woke up to the sound of a bird flying around the room. (In retrospect perhaps the open window and recent weather might have something to do with catching a cold…)

I chased the little bird out of my bedroom, quickly closing the door and set about trying to catch the little thing without making it have a heart attack before then. I think I was successful. (Well, I caught it—I will never know if it dies of cardiac arrest in the arms of a loved one whispering a terrifying story of giants and small closed spaces).

It is very odd to be roused from sleep to a strange event. It reminded me of an email I received from my aunt near the end of semester. Reading over it, I am aware that I have inherited a way of interacting and constructing the animal world from my mom and her sister my Aunt Gale. I share it here because it is funny and revealing.

I woke this morning bleary eyed (since Ross and Stu came in around 1:30 am and did not go to bed till 4). Turned on the coffee, went to the bathroom to do my morning constitutional still half asleep.... so imagine my surprise when I thought I saw something moving around on the floor. Being still asleep I thought...no, I did not see anything, I have been cleaning and there has not been even the errant bug. but ... there it is again! I looked down and lo and behold there was a tiny mouse! we did have them in here at one point a few years ago but we put out traps and I figured they were gone...had not seen any signs of them the whole time I was here! so... being Gale, I got a washcloth and sweetly talked to the little red eyed, grey/brown mouse and asked it if it wanted to go outside. I don't think it believed me... so after a bit of chasing around the room, I was able to drop the cloth over it and pick it up...Price, I probably would have tried to grab it as usual but after the shrew incident I decided that was not the best solution...hence the washcloth. It went well and she ( yes it was a she) got distributed on the back porch so she could investigate a good spot among all of the 10 porches on this level with lots of plants and fun things to hide in. I felt satisfied that all was well in the world...hopefully, a bird will not find her ;)

Can't fool me!

Sorry Tiamat... ...no matter how hard you try you will never fool me into thinking you are a harmless tropical flower. I know you better than that.

MS Awareness Month

The Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada has set aside May as a month to bring awareness to multiple sclerosis (MS). While the exact cause remains unknown, the disease “attacks the myelin which is a protective covering wrapped around the nerves of the central nervous system” (for more information, and the source of my own information see here). Physical effects of this include fatigue, loss of balance, loss of vision, and paralysis. The emotional, social, and financial toll is also heavy. According to MSSC statistics, Canadians have the highest rates of MS in the world, every day three more Canadians are diagnosed with it. Women are three times more likely to develop MS, and while it is usually diagnosed in ages from 15-40, children as young as 2 years old can have it. Today I learned that the Province of Manitoba has the highest count of people with MS.
Today all around Canada protesters rallied their government to bring a revolutionary treatment into the health care system. I attended the rally at the Manitoba legislature in Winnipeg with my friend and professor, Val, who was diagnosed with MS last summer. A handout we were given nicely summarizes the reasons for the rally:

CCSVI (Chronic cerebro-spinal venous insufficiency) is a recognized vascular disorder where narrowed veins in the neck cause deoxygenated blood to flow back (reflux) into the brain. People with MS, a debilitating neurological condition are more than twice as likely to have CCSVI.
The Research
Dr. Paulo Zamboni, a vascular specialist from Italy, published his clinical trial results on CCSVI and MS in November, 2009. Results demonstrated that retreating CCSVI stopped the progressing of MS in 76% of patients and reversed symptoms for some.
Researchers around the world are currently replicating his work.
Screening and Treatment
CCSVI is diagnosed by Doppler Ultrasound, MRV and Venogram—all safe, standard tests in Canada.
Angioplasty, the recommended treatment for CCSVI, is a simple outpatient procedure with minimal risk.
The Reality
MS costs Cnada $1.1 billion each year. For a one-time cost of less than 1% of that, all Canadians with MS/CCSVI could be tested and treated.
Kuwait, for example, has undertaken to screen and test all its citizens living with MS/CCSVI.
Join us in making the MS society and Government to make the right and economic and moral choice—Allow Manitobans with MS to be screened and treated for CCVSI here in Manitoba and Canada.

We heard from two patients, Duncan Thronton and Alison Dallas, who went to Poland to receive the treatment and whose lives have been positively affected due to the treatment. The minister of health then got up and gave a little speech. We last heard from a family, seen in the top of the picture, who shared their struggle as they watch the rapid deterioration of the a loved one, father and husband, unable to access this treatment. The event was well put together, the speakers informative, personal and respectful, and the topic certainly hit a nerve here. The day was not a good day for an outdoor rally, especially considering that symptoms of MS are aggravated by cold weather. Nevertheless, a crowd numbering in the hundreds gathered to put pressure on the government.

Oh, politics! Given that most Canadian hospitals not only have the ability to test for CCSVI in MS patients, but also have the ability to do the outpatient surgery, coupled with the research saying 76% of patients have reversed symptoms after the treatment, one would think that it would be a no-brainer for the government to provided its citizens with this care. Apparently this is not so obvious to the government. It apparently seems to be a matter of certainty or proof of the effectiveness of the treatment. (Of course, I suspect it has more to do with the lucrative pharmaceutical companies which would not profit off people no longer needing medication...) Oswald, the MB health minister who gave a little speech, mumbled something up there about making sure everything was coordinated and all the risks were known. I suppose that when it is not one’s own body which is deteriorated at a rapid pace one can afford to question the scientific proof of the 76% of people who have reversed symptoms… At the end of the rally Val and I were discussing whether in her speech the health minister actually said anything. She did say she liked the ideas which were presented… Well, Oswald, something would be wrong if you didn’t like the ideas—after all, you are the health minister—but what are you going to do about the ideas?

It is always humbling how much you change once you are personally involved in an issue. While I do not have MS I have watched a close friend and mentor wrestle through two semesters of teaching, battling fatigue, pain, and numbness along with all the emotional and social effects of the condition. Not to mention all the medical procedures, drugs and doctors your body and mind must endure along the way. Walking with another person through this has a way of putting events like today in context. It is obvious to me that if she can afford it, she should be tested for CCSVI and, if positive, fly to Poland to receive the treatment. Of course every other person I know would also agree with this—but Val would not be herself if she did not protest, asking why she, due to her socio-economic privilege, should receive this treatment and others have to suffer. I can think of a few arguments for reasons why, but for a moment, I think it is good to let this tension live a little. Were it not for people like Val these rallies would not happen. It is Val’s stubborn insistence on justice and equity which has liberated my own mind, and many others I know. It is in fact the reason that I was there today, why I have attended other protests in the past and why I will continue to protest injustice. Val's stubborn insistence for social equity was the ignition to my own sense of justice which fueled my thesis and will drive me to pursue further studies. Val has taught me not only to value equality, but to live it by both instructing me in sociology and theatre, exploring justice in all its complexity, but more profoundly by living within the tensions of justice herself. I hope she does receive treatment even if it is an exercise of privilege—I am aware and grateful for the way she holds this privilege, acknowledge it as such, and demanding equal access to all.