tipped over consciousness

This day as been unexpectedly heavy with three events. I was not ready for a particularly heavy day (not that I usually plan for them.) I have just finished the last event, and I believe a public reflection is required to vent some rage and express some sadness in hopes that my own thoughts are not isolated but shared.

To begin the day there was news of an earthquake in Haiti. I suppose with sociology and sustainable development on my mind I listen to news like this feeling somewhat responsible as I participate in a system which contributes to the disaster. Even if even if the contribution of green house gases may not have a direct correlation to tectonic plate movement, I still feel that being part of the middle class consumer culture systematically disadvantages and exploits people simply by the fact that our economic system is founded on severely unequal competition. No matter how simply I live, I may still buy fruit or rice or something from them, while they are unable to feed themselves. And while I in my consumption contribute to their exploitation in some small way, I feel powerless to help them in some small way today.

Ok, so that pressed on my mind. And then I went to chapel. Now, I have never been a fan of sermons, but I can usually edit out the offensive material and move beyond it. I found this was impossible today.

To begin with, there was a reading of a letter from an upper class family in the states. Both friendship and conspicuous consumption were flaunted. This was after a long spiel from another about the earthquake followed by prayers and pleas to "think about" how we can really help. The letter was supposed to be a tie in to the sermon, read from the controversial Calvinist Ephesians predestination passage which itself has caused great amounts of bloodshed, division and arrogance (I include myself in the latter two).

Announcing that families determine our status, he took the letter from this rich northern family, who took a cruse, BTW, Dah-ling, and proceeded to use them as a metaphor for God, and adoption into His family. Now, family certainly determines status, but don't end there! Now talk about how advantaged this family is because they get the benefits of cheap labour in a "free market" and how the majority of those families in Haiti will never own a square foot of land, let alone have a condo in Florida. And certainly don't compare the privileged family to a God who was incarnated in a person who not only lived in voluntary poverty, but gave up his life so that those who live in poverty, those undermined and exploited could know their value.

The day ended with theatre practice this evening. We are doing The Diary of Anne Frank which if you do not know is the diary written by a young Jewish girl who lived with her family in hiding for 25 months before they were deported to a camp. Val went over the historical context of the racism of the Nazi party and how they ran their camps. We were showed horrific images from the camps. It was all just too much for one day. Not because we were made to empathize with past horrors of racism, but because racism, sexism and genocide are happening at this very moment, and I feel that I contribute by not acting against it. I am in the picture, but I am the idle citizen who watches the death march pass my front door. Only I don't see the emaciated bodies, I see plastic housewares, new clothes and exotic food and am sufficiently removed from the reality of our economic system to easily forget the uncomfortable truths I have and am learning.

I am uncomfortable and restless.