Order and chaos

I have just watched fear and loathing in Las Vegas. My psyche is grossly overwhelmed with the sense of profanity. I suppose haveing been this summer on a verge of morals in Otterburne that I feel acutely the tension. Order and chaos. I need order. All humans need order. We create it, then we forget and it creates us. Until we wake under its stifling presence.
Perhaps what I think is that I have reached an anomic state personally, intellectually, but that when I see it represented it is horror. I think now I understand the limits of the ideal. What can work out in the mind, what can be seen ahead, must yet fall under the present context and situation.
In gymnastics it is very simple. While the present flexibility and strength do not determine the vision of future ability, that ability will only come to being slowly, and present character and engagement determens its existence.