Sunday, January 13, 2008

Nice Fluffy Ideas


I have just realized how little I actually connect with people. It is really simple, and Bonhoeffer has put it very well in a quote that runs something like "He who loves his idea of community destroys it, while he who loves those around him creates it." I wonder that all my passion for justice, and simple life and profound thought has not brought me closer to love. I find that I still am isolated, alienated, frustrated, jealous, impatient, ungraceful... etc etc. I used to think that if I just uncovered the right thoughts in self and other I would be able to love. That the way I think somehow will magically transform my nature. But now I see that I can have all the right ideals and profound thoughts, but they are meaningless without the bedrock of first connecting to people.

Ideas are harmless and a lot like a fluffy smoothie. Loving people can not be compared to anything because people are too dynamic. Good and bad. Loving a neighbor, class mate, friend, lover is actually really hard when I love the idea first because I have no room for their difference when my mind is looking for a preconceived pattern, especially if there is a moral dimension to the pattern.

Anyway, I am now on a quest to recognize the ideas that keep me from loving those around me. Or a better word that I think I prefer to love is connection. This is because I can kiss or hug or talk as long as I live, but these are not means to the end. They are mediums, but not means.

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