Love, Fear and the Bible: A few Answers

Intro
I am watching pets for a few days in a house on campus. Last night there was a book by the bed that intrigued me. I thought "If I can read a Narnian Chronicle in one afternoon, why not read that in the morning?" The dogs and cats here are accustomed to getting up at 5am, so by 6 I had eaten breakfast, done the pet thing and what was left to do but sleep or begin my Sunday. I started reading the book and was half done by the time I needed to leave for church. Good book, for me at least.

God of Love
The first thing that caught me was his description of the spirituality which does not know itself as deeply loved by God but sees God as a person who looks first with displeasure on the sinner. This spirituality is characterized by a life of trying to make it up to God and prove the self. If that was too confusing here is the quote: 0

"People are convinced that it is sin that first catches God’s attention. I think they are wrong--and I think the consequences of such a belief are enormous...
"The central feature of any spiritual response to such a God will be an effort to earn his approval. Far from learning to relax in his presence you will be diligent to perform as well as you possibly can. The motive for any obedience will be fear rather than love, and there will be little genuine surrender."

hmm...

You mean I am not supposed to feel like that all the time?

Apparently this Loving God can be known by experience. I know God objectively. And I know him through image: nature, story and people. But can I know Him? Can I be in his presence? According to Benner it is so,

"If God is love he can not be known apart from love. He cannot, therefore, be known objectively and that is the only way to love without fear, and the only way to be transformed."


hmm


Fear
He very much disagrees with my post a few days ago about fear. He thinks that fear will keep us from love, and that ultimately fear is just a cover for guilt. Therefore one must fully know, not just with the mind, that one is loved unconditionally by God. He points out that God is always telling people to not fear him.

This has made me reevaluate a bit and wonder... I wonder if the right reaction and proper response to God is fear, but it is not to stay there. It is all about how we react to that fear. Either the fear turns to hate or it turns to love. Lewis gives some good pictures:


Then Hwin, shaking all over, gave a strange little neigh, and trotted accross to the Lion. "Please," she said, "you’re so beautiful. You may eat me if you like. I’d sooner be eaten by you than fed by anyone else"

"I’m longing to see him," said Peter, "even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point."

For the mention of Aslan gave him a mysterious and horrible feeling, just as it gave the others a mysterious lovely feeling.

Surrender and Obedience
One of Benner's main concepts is surrender, which is a topic that I am sure is important, but I don’t really seem to have a place for in my mind yet. I think I am still trying to work out love and fear.
The only way to fully surrender so that life is lived not out of a mechanical obedience to impersonal law, but from a deep love of God. Calvin says much the same thing talking about following God and obedience not from fear but form love.

(interesting to note, however, that while Calvin’s personal religion was rooted in a personal love toward God, it has become very distorted in its being Calvinism. Dry, abstract and judgmental. Nothing of the love and grace that Calvins writing is seeped in)

Bible
Here is the intersting point:

"He is quite unlike the God we would make if we were making him in our own image. "

ah, so the bible is a revelation of God which we could never know unless he told us. I think I have heard this before... ;) It has just clicked.

Perhaps this is the bible I am missing. Is it a personal book? How personal is God? How personal is Christ? Am I reading a book that was writen like a mass govermental document that is applicable to countless thousands including me? If I read it like that, and I do, no wonder it does not impact me very much. I really really really want to believe, think and know that God is personal enough that he had me in mind when he wrote the book, that Christ did not just die for humanity, but for Sasha Smith. If the bible is a love letter to me, then I should start reading it as though it was meant for me.

Me me me. As I was thinking these thoughts it occurred to me that it was very selfish. But then I began to wonder that maybe I should go to Him with all my selfish ness because he is the only one who can do anything constructive about it. If I do not, then someone or something on this side of the door will end up with a weight they can not bear.

Conclusions...
So, my insights on this Sunday:

• God is love, and that means (according to Benner) one must experience his love to really surrender. I really hope this is possible.
  
• His Word is the means by which this love is communicated to us, and we are to sit and meditate on it. But wait. Her word, I am suspecting and hoping, is personal. More than I have ever dreamed of?

By the way, he defines meditation as a spiritual daydream. If that is true, I do not know why I have been so afraid that I will never get the hang of it: I have no problem day dreaming.

p.s. Humility
Another thought that was interesting was whether humility exists apart from fallen-ness? If we were perfect beings would we still be humble? The implications of the answer in the positive is that I am not humble if I am aware of my sin. Rather humility exists because of our awareness of who God is. My reasoning is the Christ was humble (yet seemingly being the one person who had every right not be glorified).