Happy Mothers Day

I awoke this morning knowing one of two things: either the entire world does revolve around me or I have learned to step in time with the world. This morning I had the strangest dream with my mom in it. She had burned herself (that was not strange) and I had ran to her side in full sympathy to comfort her (this was the strange part). Not that I am a person who rarely has sympathy on people, but it was the nature of it… in fact I do not think that I have ever felt so true a sorrow for another’s pain as in that moment in the dream.

Anyway, that might be meaningless to all my readers, but be patient and I will get to my point.

After living at home for Christmas break I was under so much stress and tension from being with family, and in all honesty especially my mother, that I almost did not return to Prov. I feared with that stress on top of family I would have some sort of break down. My sister suggested that I just take less courses, which enabled me to change my worldview a bit. But that is not what this is about. (see post on Jan 15)



This is about a conversation I had with Sue Screpnik after the break. I was telling her how I really needed space and never wanted to go home again
(not really, but that was how I felt)

and she, while being sympathetic, was able to see beyond my present discomfort. She said something like,

“but you will come to love her because you will come to see that you are part of her. You know there are lovely things about you that you have gotten from you mother. I look at you and I love the freedom and creativity that I see in you, which is not a normal thing, but a gift.”

I knew it then, though I really did not care, that I had received from God via my mom those gifts of creativity and freedom. At that moment those words seemed to fall concrete rather than soil. And yet they were with me all the time, whenever I thought about her. The fact that I was her daughter, something to do with inheritance.

And then after space, time and a rough lesson I have just learned about loving people without pointing and accusing them, I called her on Saturday. I had not been planning on going home for Christmas because I wanted the freedom to be able to prove to myself that I could love her and still chose to go home for Christmas. However, by the end of the conversation I was longing to be there.


Here is the odd thing, I don't know what to tell everyone, except

‘Honor your father and mother’ -- this is the first commandment with a promise. ‘so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth’ Ephesians 6:2-4:

There is something about finally loving my source, loving being the daughter of an artist. But mothers can’t be anything but mothers to their children, I am beginning to think. The moment they try and be peers, aunts or cousins everything becomes dark and confusing.

Anyway, it is cool thaton Mothers Day I woke up loving my mom.

Happy Mother’s day, mom.