The Gospel of being a Subject

Today I was able to articulate what I have been mulling over for sometime. I have been wondering about my big need, or as Tiglath often puts it “my eternal void”.

Tiglath is able to put subtleties into extremes… I am not sure she has the ability to do tithe opposite way though.

There is a rather desperate state in all of us. I hold that it is the effect of sin in us: death which is separation from God.

Then we are not just victims of one person’s sin, but we are active in participating, therefore guilty, and in desperate need. We feel it everywhere, but it takes many faces, depending on the person. Whatever fills that constant need of something, often a materialist idea or food.

Tiglath understands this to be filled with her zipper she can never find.

Anyway, for me it is boys. But I am not comfortable with this because it means that I am easily manipulated and also that the most significant thing in life is when a boy likes you. This goes contrary to my worldview, and also I am not sure that people like the feeling of being used. This is my whole point. When I have boys in this spot it makes them an object to fill something.

But what is supposed to fill that?

Ah, and then I finally asked a question that has needed to be asked for sometime now. Do I treat God as an object to fill some great need? It seems if I do I can justify this, saying that it is God who fills this need, along with Augustine:

“Our hearts are restless till they find you.”

But I am pretty sure that this not right (treating God as an object, not Augustine’s quote.) I think so because truth is consistent, and if we are not to treat people like object, how could we be allowed to treat God, who is a personal being, like one?

I thought about this while dancing this afternoon and came to understand that God’s love, which is what we desperately need, is freely given in Christ.

Here is my answer to the question so far:

To treat God as an object is to have a faith of works. It is a love that is not personal but legal and easy to be controlled. We have a great need, and therefore come to God in our need, but we can not do anything because his love is given. To treat God as a subject is to accept the love he has freely given to us. To receive his Grace.